My amazing fella

New ring I got on Etsy from ArtAllNight

Some days I truly wonder what I would do without my sweet sweet fella. Mike is just such an incredible man and I feel beyond lucky that we have each other. We just fit together so well and I really don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have him. It’s a fine line between getting freaked out and worrying about what my life might be like if we don’t work out and just being so ecstatic we have each other. Even though everything is totally perfect (seriously, sometimes I don’t get it…we never fight, we love each other so much and it’s ridiculous) I know that realistically it could fall apart. It’s always a possibility, even though so much of me really believes we will be together when we are old and wrinkly. I try not to think about it because if I let my mind wander at all and think what life would be like without my Mike I literally end up bawling within about 2 minutes and freaking out. I use to be much worse about this but I am learning to be better about living in today and enjoy the amazing feeling of being in love. P.S. I also can’t stop daydreaming about getting married! Eep!

Things are sort of rough of the “work from home and adjust to night working time” front. I am having a very hard time adjusting, harder than I thought. But I keep trying to remind myself that it’s only been a week. Tonight is one week and really I am doing fine. It’s hard to be awake when the world is asleep. And though I LOVE being home it’s rough when I am use to being go go go all the time. I just need to get my “to do”s organized and keep myself more busy and get myself motivated. Going to the gym today helped me kick myself out of the “I woke up at 3pm and I am so goddam lazy” mood. As my sister said “But Tara, you were working until 8am, you aren’t lazy” I just have to keep reminding myself something that has been something I always have to tell myself “Be gentle with yourself.” It’s going to take time to adjust. If I feel weird and feel uncomfortable and feel upset and confused by trying to adjust my sleep schedule that’s ok, it’s going to happen, it’s allowed to happen.

My goodness! Next weekend is Christmas! I get two extra holiday days off for Christmas and two extra for New Years Eve! I can’t wait to have so much time to spend with my fella and with all the people that I love so so so much. I can’t wait to give all my gifts- I LOVE giving gifts!!!

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